The beauty of it all!!

It was such a beautiful night, there was a light breeze and the air smelled of rain. As i sat on top of a bale hay I looked out and admired the beauty of the earth in front of me. Big thick clouds painted with shades of pink and orange, that lightly kissed the tip tops of the mountains. Endless fields of green pasture and a stream that wound its way through, giving life to everything around it. With a smile, I watched the geese gather up their goslings as they headed toward the stream. I marveled at the sight before me. I was so grateful for that very moment. We often rush through life and allow ourselves to get so caught up in the world around us that we never take a moment to enjoy beauty that surrounds us. This was one of my most favorite things to do.

As I sat there, I thought about everything that has happened in my life. Recently, lots of changes have taken place. Some of which I am still having a hard time adjusting to. Thinking about how difficult the semester was and how glad I was that it was over. Memories of this past year immediately flooded my thoughts. Though most were good, some I wished to forget. I found myself wishing once again, that it was easier to forget. But then I  thought of a post that my sister wrote called Is it better to forget?.. In her post she talks about how we often  try to forget not only the painful things but the happy things as well, she states that, " even good things can be tainted with loss or associated with things that didn't turn out well". But Then she asks a question, that I asked myself , and that is, "Wouldn't it be better to take each moment for what it is?" And the response I gave myself  is, yes it is better. I believe its better to remember them and to learn from them. Its those moments that are what cause us to grow and what shapes us to be who we are today. For isn't that the beauty of it.... We have to look at our memories for what they are and appreciate both the good and the bad. But also have to move forward through them and  look forward to new memories that await us. I  realized tonight, in that moment when I was looking at the beauty that surrounded me, that I shouldn't wish to forget my memories instead wish to remember and cherish them. 

"Ideally, we would do what it takes to look for the good in every situation—even if that good is just a lesson learned—and forget the rest. Easier said than done, I think. Sometimes it feels like we might never forget pain, hurt, heartbreak. Our challenges become part of who we are and in that way, I guess, actually help to shape our future. And when you really think about it, that's one of God’s greatest gifts to us".- Mindy White.

"Life is about trusting our feelings and taking chances, losing and finding

 happiness, appreciating the memories and learning from the past."

  I just recently went through a break up. And I think it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. We just weren't on the same page in life and had a lot of things working against us, distance being one of them. We shared a lot good times and created memories that I will cherish forever. The thing is I love him, he was good friend and I miss him. He will always have a special place in my heart. Its hard though because since then I find myself wondering, what I did wrong or what could I have done better.I ended up really putting myself down and started believing that maybe it was all my fault. I know I am not perfect and there are things I need to work on and could have done different. But my sister Mindy made me realize that, I cant do that to myself and that it wasn't just my fault, it is what it is, and I learned from it. I see now that its okay to say how I feel and that I deserve to feel important. Though at times it hurts so bad I wish that none of it would have happened. But I realize I cant think that way. Instead I have to look at it as,  how much I learned about myself  through it and how much the relationship taught me. Like Dr.Seuss says, " Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened". I can honestly say that I am so grateful for the whole experience the good and the bad. It could have been that the timing was off or the lack of communication through distance. But no matter what it may have been, I know that, "Someday everything will make perfect sense. So for now I need to, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding myself that everything happens for a reason.I dont know if i will ever find love again. And I don't know where life will take me or what adventures might come my way. But I do know that my Heavenly father has not forgotten about me and that he loves me. And that I have purpose in this life.I know that if I continue to have faith in him that everything will be okay and I will be comforted. And through him I can overcome any trail that comes my way. I love the qoute by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin he said, " Oh, it is wonderful to know that our Heavenly father loves us even with all our flaws! His love is such that even should we give up on ourselves, He will never. We see ourselves as in terms of yesterday and today but our heavenly father sees us in terms of forever. Although we might settle for less Heavenly father wont for he sees us as glorious beings we are capable of becoming."...I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for my wonderful family who helped me through it! They  are one of my biggest strengths! I don't know what I would do without them. Especially my sister Mindy! She is the best and I am so lucky to have her as a sister! I love them all so much! I am also grateful for my dog Fergi and my horse waffle! They are both very special and a are big blessing in my life! I have a lot to look forward to! I decided I want to team rope and I am going to start voice lesson. I am way excited about both of them. I am ready for whatever adventures may come my way.